is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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