I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
