god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
