I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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