I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
