i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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