He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
