After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize