I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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