Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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