so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This baby is an asshole
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
