i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
