It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't deserve a penis
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
