So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
wanna go halves on a baby?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
