Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
