I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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