I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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