how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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