Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
PANTIES FOUND
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