But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
