If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ladies don't puke and tell
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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