How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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