well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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