Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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