Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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