Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
