you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So much rum. So many feels.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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