i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
