thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
