I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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