How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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