DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
