anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
