i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
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I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just want nice things and good sex
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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