I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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