she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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