I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
