I wish i was in the wii world.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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