i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
