do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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