She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
