Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
