I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
