i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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