You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
