You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
