Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
