They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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