her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
