You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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