Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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