Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
