last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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