My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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