There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
