so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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