is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
