Me. At least after what I've been through.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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