shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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