Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
