I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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