I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
