I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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