never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
