It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
