I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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